I Can Attest – He’s Actual!
This is not a fluff piece. It’s the story that resulted from tweeting, emailing and, recently MEETING Chase Adams. The relationship with him dramatically altered my expertise with twitter and supplied an unexpected chance to test the “humanness” of social media.
Meeting Chase allowed the student in me to examine the nature of our exchanges, question the meaning of the words and see if my intuitive read matched the “real person”. Following sending hundreds of tweets into the “stream” only to hear silence, I could lastly share every blunder, hiccup, pinch, warm fuzzy and moment of confusion with one more human, in the flesh. It turns out that humanity in the virtual world has very few differences from that of the actual 1.
On that note, let me quickly forward to seat 23E, preparing to land in Atlanta.
Thinking on the plane…what need to I do when I see him? I’d truly like to jump up and down, scream CHaaaaaase, and then give him a fantastic big hug. No, I can’t do that – unacceptable and he’ll think I’m odd. I could be cool and look around the atrium with no obvious focal point, casually zero in on him and say with my eyes wide, surprised, OH! Are you Chase?
Lastly, there he was – 15 feet away – leaning with arms crossed, hanging back. Instantaneously, my previous plans vanished I mustered my most friendly, “unpuppydoggish” self and sheepishly asked – Chase?
Score 1 for the RealChaseAdams! He showed up, patiently waited even although I was three hours late and produced our meeting happen.
1st points that surprised me:
- He didn’t talk in 140 characters nor did he tweet to other people while with me
- Took lots of time to be thoughtful and engaged himself – 100%
- He redefined my notion of a “tech guy”
- Was even more charming than expected
- Took great care of our waiter who accommodated our four 1/2 hour meeting
- Smart and smarter – articulate – wise
- Wonderful, expressive eyes
Chase was a real collaborative guy who didn’t just decide stuff, but included me in developing the evening.
Score Two for the RealChaseAdams! He could relate, interact & generate a relationship with out hiding behind a personal computer.
Meeting Chase, IRL, produced a weird sensation. My heart knew him but my brain didn’t. I almost reached over and actually pinched him just to prove to myself that he was physically present, but restraint prevailed. With this additional visual-sensory input, I had a lot much more to process – speedily. The tilt at the edge of his smile, the twinkle in his eye, the way he moved his fingers when he reached for his “sweet tea” – all new input. It’s the physical that we miss in the virtual world!
We covered lots of topics!
- Chase’s vision for #usguys
- My desire to discover technology and social media
- Interesting life experiences
- My gratitude for nicely… ‘him’
- Previous tweet exchanges that occurred in the stream – some funny and others that left me “wondering about the outcome”
- Twitter etiquette, social theory and relationship building within a tribe
- Chase’s dreams for the future, speaking at #sxsw, and my self-development game (I need to admit, it was thrilling to share my hand-colored drawing with someone from the virtual world)
We had been having a fantastic conversation when quicker than I could say, “This is fantastic”, we dropped – Kerplunk! into a relationship “thing” that generally occurs only following knowing an individual for some time. Most “things” test the substance of a relationship. And I wasn’t sure that one created in the virtual world could support the weight of a “thing”!
SNAG! …heart racing…PANIC! (What occurs if we choose we don’t like every other?)
By way of background, we’d registered for @jonmorrow’s blogger apprenticeship program. I was impressed with Chase’s capacity to engage other members of this community. He gave fantastic feedback! I followed – he followed back. We then began trading tweets throughout Hurricane Earl. Are you expecting the hurricane to hit tough? Your name reminds me of a soap star. Why are you driving in this nor’easter?
Lighthearted exchanges grew into a sense of connectedness, and we began sharing emails. Following a couple of “Wow, you’re pretty wonderful’s” and “Can’t wait to see where you go next”, Chase asked me for feedback about some thing he was writing.
In my desire to illustrate my commitment to him, I responded with the smartest stuff I had to offer – but I was hesitant simply because I didn’t know how he’d react. Over the next week or so, although participating in #usguys, I started to sense my interactions with him had changed. I pondered this for a whilst and then wrote to him and asked, “What’s up?”
At “the moment” at dinner, we talked about that blip and what had truly happened.
I discovered out he was troubled by my feedback. It turned out that I missed the point entirely. Chase was wanting me to understand his concerns about pursuing a new job chance and what he got from me was an intellectual critique. In my distorted attempt to present substance, I bungled the chance to care about his feelings and him “as a individual”. This landed like a 2000 pound elephant given my intense commitment to relate deeply to other people. I played small and convinced myself it would be unwelcome in a “virtual” relationship.
I had an “alfalfa sprout” moment at dinner with Chase. The kind of studying that’s fresh, unplanned and shocking to your ego. Chase could’ve avoided telling me the truth and blown it off deciding this was too intense for a twitter connection. But, he didn’t. And precisely since of this, the tie between us grew closer.
Winning Score! This went straight to my heart.
Chase Adams connected with me by means of 140 characters. He communicated with me via emails. He influenced me to participate in #usguys. He caused my participation in social media to turn into vital, compelling and supportive. And then, in actual life, Chase was willing to risk it all and share a negative with me.
Turns out that the virtual world is no various than the physical one. The venue doesn’t matter. It depends entirely on our capacity and desire to create relationship.
Chase knew that. Sentiment CAN construct inside 140 characters. I could’ve discovered that this sentiment was a figment of my imagination. But since of “who” Chase is, the reality far exceeded my expectation. I didn’t have to pinch him to establish that he is, in truth,
The Real Chase Adams!
Sandra Parrotto is fascinated by self development, creative expression, intimacy & relationships. She is the owner of Qstreet, an organizational development, leadership and coaching consulting organization. Theguidequest website, scheduled for launch in April, will supply on the web training and coaching career opportunities. She can be reached at sam @ qstreet.com, on twitter @qstreet and fb as Sandra Parrotto.

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